Saturday, March 24, 2018

BEST SUPPORTING PRIMATE

In 1942, Donald Crisp won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. I don’t know Donald Crisp and I’ve never seen the movie he was nominated for, How Green Was My Valley. The other nominees included Walter Brennan (the gimpy Grandpa on The Real McCoys), Charles Coburn for the Devil and Miss Jones (no, not The Devil In Miss Jones) and Sydney Greenstreet for the Maltese Falcon (whom Peter Lorre refers to in the movie as “you bloated idiot”). 

Somebody got overlooked. Check out this soliloquy from Tarzan’s New York Adventure, a 1942 feature that obviously needed to pad out a couple of minutes.





In the same movie, there’s also this scene, played with an actor named Mantan Moreland, whom Moe Howard tried to recruit for the Three Stooges when Shemp died in 1955. The studio, as you could guess, nixed that idea pretty quickly. 




Cheetah’s role in the Tarzan movies evolved from Tarzan’s brother in Tarzan of the Apes in 1932, to child surrogate once Tarzan hooked up with Jane, to surefire comedy relief. I’m ignoring the reports that several chimps played Cheetah over the course of the Tarzan movies, or that the 80-year old chimp purported to be Cheetah who died a few years back may not have been the real deal. There wasn’t an actor of his generation more fun to watch.

Saturday, March 10, 2018


THE INNER GROOVE, PART 2

Here’s part two, looking at some great record stores.

Disc-O-Mat (River Edge): Like any good record store, Disc-O-Mat was the proverbial rabbit hole, but in a literal sense as well: black walls, no windows and the store itself circular shaped. It offered a great selection, priced right, with no space wasted on classical or jazz; Disc-O-Mat knew its audience: all rock and R&B. Two moments stand out. Public Image Ltd. was scheduled to make an appearance on American Bandstand, highly anticipated as a seismic event as two worlds collide – Johnny Rotten meets Dick Clark – and someone who worked at the store brought in a television. (I left in time to watch it at home). While I’m sure the kid who lugged in the TV only wanted to share this moment with his coworkers, his bigger contribution was creating a connection with the customers and building a sense of community. He should have been named Employee of the Month. The other Disc-O-Mat moment came with Born to Run blasting over the store’s speakers. My brain, which has heard the song 3,000 times, pushes it into the background. But then something pulls it forward. When I expect the song to end, the last note goes on, and on, then morphs into the droning note that opens Roger Daltrey’s It’s A Hard Life (don’t worry, nobody else remembers it either). The two notes are in the same key and if you appreciate that sort of thing, it was really well done. The staffer responsible for this turntable wizardry walked out of the back room of the store triumphant and to the high fives of his coworkers. Another shoo-in for Employee of the Month.

J&R (New York City): My friend Paul and I made annual pilgrimages here, always on the Saturday morning after Thanksgiving, to start the Christmas season by giving gifts to ourselves. The Macy’s of music, J&R offered two entire floors of records, plus an auxiliary store a few blocks away that specialized in jazz. The stock spoke to the kind of diversity you’d expect of a record store in Manhattan, with major sections devoted to third world music, electronic and 12” inch dance singles. The blues department had a record bin divider labeled “The Blinds,” to cover Blind Willie Johnson, Blind Lemon Jefferson, Blind Willie McTell and all those other sightless guys who felt their way through music careers in the twenties and thirties.

Midnight Records (New York City): If you still had money left after J&R, it was a quick drive up to West 23rd and the remarkable Midnight Records. Think about the guys in the orange aprons at Home Depot or the dudes posing inside Abercrombie & Fitch. If you
had a store with the largest stash of imports, punk and garage rock records, maybe in the world, what kind of staff would you hire? At Midnight, you brought the empty album jacket to the counter, where the guy would look up from a cloud of cigarette smoke and wordlessly hand the jackets to this sullen, scary, hardcore-looking punk I thought was just hanging out, sitting in the window drinking a 16-ounce beer. He took the jackets, went to the back room, got the records. Nothing said. No eye contact. Did I mention their stock? Large enough that Midnight had a mail-order catalog the size and heft of The Daily News.

Sam Goody (Paramus): Famous for the following: 45s stocked in their cubbyholes in the same order as that week’s Billboard Hot 100. The staff’s album reviews of offbeat import records, written on index cards and taped to the jacket. The old guy who worked in the classical section and smoked a cigar, which you could smell throughout the store. Great selection, but expensive.

Korvettes (Paramus): Ask anybody who remembers and they’ll tell you that for a soulless discount department store, Korvettes had an amazing record department, with label sales every week. Until Disc-O-Mat opened, this was the place to go. I don’t even know what the rest of the store looked like. I always entered through the pedestrian bridge that crossed Route 4, which took you directly into the record department.

Upstairs Records (Morristown): Right on the Green and up a steep flight of stairs, it existed for a year or two in the nineties. The owner chain-smoked like mad and there was a carcinogenic fog hanging over the store (actually a converted office). Mostly older, second-hand albums, but also a bootleg nirvana. You had to steel yourself for the checkout, which could take up to 45 minutes as the owner, who was probably lonely sitting there all day by himself – I never saw any other customers – talked music. I’m sure the longest conversation I ever had with anybody anywhere about the Souther, Hillman, Furay Band was with him.

Relic Rack (Hackensack): My friends and I are in a bar across the highway from Monticello Raceway, watching a woman with a big snake dance to Soul Makossa, the record that briefly dropped into the Top 40 in 1973. Reminded of the song’s greatness, I needed to buy it. The next day, I went to the Relic Rack. Located downtown on Main Street, it stocked every 45 in the history of civilization, including Soul Makossa. As with Disc-O-Mat, there was a tribal sharing: on Saturday afternoons a bunch of older guys would hang out in the store, listening to oldies. I went there looking for some record on May 10, 1982, the day WABC switched to an all-talk format (also known as “the day the music died” and ironically the day my father died) and the owner was on the phone frantically telling his wife to “just keep taping” WABC.

Harvest Festival (Denville): Each October, St. Clare’s Hospital thanked the harvest gods for the season’s fruitful bounty with a festival that featured a truck selling funnel cakes and yards of second-hand stuff – toys, books, furniture, clothes and records – for sale. Three garage doors would swing open on a Saturday morning and tens of thousands of albums saw the light of day for the first time in seemingly decades. The stuff I found there was amazing. The Folkswingers. Friar Tuck’s Psychedelic Guitar (sealed!). The Thunderball soundtrack. The Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer TV soundtrack. The stuff at the back of the garage was shot from moisture and mildew, but it was also the piles of records people had been picking over and rejecting for years, Mantovani and 20 Italian Favorites, stuff like that. The hospital still has a used book store, which is as chaotic as those garages full of records were.

Vintage Vinyl (Woodbridge)/Princeton Record Exchange: The two heavyweight survivors. Vintage Vinyl is a huge store with a great selection, if heavily tilted towards “alternative” bands (and probably genres) I don’t know. Situated across the street from a major PSE&G substation, I’d park a company car at the substation, then cross the street to the store. The PREX, probably shouldn’t be on this list since I’ve only bought CDs there. Princeton has a surprisingly lousy selection of new CDs, but a tsunami of second-hand discs. Look hard enough and you’ll always find something unique; you’ll also spot trends. The kids who owned a Nickelback or Collective Soul CD in the nineties did not keep them into young adulthood. Seemingly every Howard Stern fan who bought the Stuttering John Band CD had buyer’s remorse. All those bleak acoustic albums Springsteen kept making in the nineties? They’re all collecting dust in Princeton. The PREX was famous for its cool kid staff, who would often sneer at the stuff you were buying. Somebody must have noticed and nowadays you’re always greeted with a smile.

Honorable Mention: Crazy Rhythm (Montclair) had a sparse selection but interesting bootlegs. Sound Exchange (Wayne) was crammed with albums, but it was the owner’s pop culture museum in the store that made the trip. Every board game and character lunchbox from the sixties and the only box of Space Food Stix left on Earth. Flipside Records (Wanaque) was a hoarder’s attic of haphazard records and tapes. The Villages at the Bergen Mall (Paramus) was a weird collection of storefronts in the lower level. The record store was the size of a bathroom and sold bootlegs and “collector’s items” like the obligatory John and Yoko’s Two Virgins and the Bee Gees’ Odessa, with the red velvet cover. Igor Records (Teaneck) was run by a couple of Eastern European brothers; I’m sure one of them was Igor. Tower Records (Paramus) rivaled J&R in size and scope, and published a free magazine every month full of articles and reviews. Singers (Paramus) was a great place to browse as a kid while Mom looked for clothes patterns.

Friday, March 9, 2018

SCARY STUFF

Here is what nightmares are made of when you're an impressionable seven-year old and you catch the following on Channel 9's Million Dollar Movie. Everything your mother ever warned you about, from talking to strangers to being careful on your bicycle, gets broken here. And never mind that it's obviously a doll being thrown out of the car. This freaked me out for a long time. It still bothers me. The scene comes from a film about corruption in a town in Alabama, the Phenix City Story (1955):