A history of popular music, as told by 100 one-hit wonders (part 6)

49. Santa Esmeralda –•– Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood — (Peaked: February 18, 1978 at # 15)        

The Citizen Kane of disco records.

48. The Church –•– Under the Milky Way — (Peaked: June 18, 1988 at # 24)                     

Emo classic with a secret connection to the LA singer-songwriter scene of the 70s. It was produced by Waddy Wachtel (Linda Ronstadt’s guitarist) and Greg Ladanyi (who produced several Jackson Browne albums); the drummer is Russ Kunkel (Jackson Browne and Crosby and Nash’s bands, and the former Mr. Carly Simon). The “bagpipe” solo was a bow played on guitar, then fed into an electronic keyboard.

47. Randy Newman –•– Short People — (Peaked: January 28, 1978 at # 2)          

46. Loudon Wainwright III –•– Dead Skunk — (Peaked: March 31, 1973 at # 16)               

Randy Newman and Loudon Wainwright III came from storied families (Newman had three uncles who wrote Hollywood film scores; Wainwright’s father was a journalist and editor-in-chief of Life magazine) and from the start, both were cordoned off into the “clever artist with a cult following” category. The subject matter of these two songs was universal enough to give each a major hit record, the only two of their long careers.

45. The Penguins –•– Earth Angel — (Peaked: February 5, 1955 at # 8)                                

When WOR-FM changed from underground rock to oldies, it introduced the new format by playing its top 500 songs of all-time (and at that point, “all time” only meant about 15 years). Figuring my musical education was more important, I faked being ill so I could stay home from school to listen. The top two were disappointing because I’d never heard of either “In The Still of the Night” by the Five Satins or "Earth Angel" before, but looking back they made perfect sense, soulful R&B ballads that provided a soundtrack for 50s teenagers to slow dance or make out to. Years later, when WNEW-FM offered its own top 500 of all-time, with the inevitable top two of “Stairway to Heaven” and “Won’t Get Fooled Again” – that was much more disappointing.

44. Harry Simeone Chorale –•– The Little Drummer Boy — (Peaked: January 12, 1959 at # 13)

Christmas music isn’t supposed to be haunting, but "The Little Drummer Boy" kind of scared me as a kid, with the hypnotic drone “drumbeat” underneath the choir. As peaceful as stepping outside from a noisy family gathering on Christmas Eve into the cold dark.

43. Reunion –•– Life Is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me) — (Peaked: November 16, 1974 at #8)

42. Pete Wingfield –•– Eighteen with a Bullet — (Peaked: November 29, 1975 at # 15)

In the time it takes for "Life Is A Rock" to unroll, the names of more than 125 singers, bands, producers, record labels, deejays and dance crazes fly by, keeping Billboard subscribers and the nerds who collected the weekly radio station surveys busy for weeks deciphering it (and an idea later co-opted, with all the fun removed, by Billy Joel in “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”) Pete Wingfield was a British recording session keyboard player with a white-guy Afro and remarkable vocal range whose moment of glory was "Eighteen With A Bullet" – a doo wop homage that used music business terms as metaphors for a romance.

41. Zager and Evans –•– In the Year 2525 — (Peaked: July 12, 1969 at # 1)                         

"In the Year 2525" – not to forget its pompously parenthetical sub-title, Exordium & Terminus – stayed at #1 for six weeks through the summer of 1969 – making it the most successful one-hit wonder record ever. Although the lyrics weren’t much more imaginative in describing a dystopian future than your average issue of DC Comics’ Kamandi, it was nominated for a Hugo, the science fiction literary version of an Oscar. 

 

Hey, look what’s finally on TV! C.C. and Company (1970)

Joe Namath’s first movie role isn’t a travesty. He has the amiable laid-back vibe you get when non-actors wind up with major movie roles (Willie Nelson, the Beatles) and not much in the way of dialogue (or at least many lines of dialogue strung together) so there’s no need for any emotional heavy lifting.

However, having finally sat through all of C.C. and Company for perhaps the first time confirmed that the first five minutes of the movie are its high point. Namath, playing the cleanest-cut gang member to ever grace a motorcycle movie, pretends to be grocery shopping while actually making a sandwich by stealing food from the shelves (and resealing packages as he goes along – the golden age of product tampering). Joe washes down his sandwich with a stolen pint of milk, then helps himself to a package of Twinkies.

From that point forward, C.C. and Company plays like an R-rated Elvis movie, with Namath as the loner with a chip on his shoulder but a heart of gold, quick with his fists and in making time with the gals. He even gets a cool Elvis character name, C.C. Ryder. And not unlike most Elvis movies, C.C. and Company ends with a climactic motorcycle race because there’s always some big car race/moment of truth where Elvis redeems himself in the eyes of his female costar and wipes the smirk off the face of his male competitor.

The movie was written by Mr. Ann-Margret, Roger Smith, no doubt in an effort to jumpstart his wife’s lagging career. According to IMDB, her last role before C.C. and Company was a guest spot on The Lucy Show (the one where Desi Jr. thinks she’s coming on to him after she shows an interest in a song he wrote, easily one of the longest half-hours in television history). If the idea was to start her movie comeback, why not harken back to Ann-Margret’s best – and already five years ago at this point – cinematic effort, Viva Las Vegas?

So any resemblance to an Elvis movie seems intentional, but there’s no way Presley would have signed on for C.C. and Company. There’s beer guzzling, disrespect for authority, a biker chick skinny-dipping, a couple of blurry nude biker asses and Ann-Margret telling a biker to fuck off. And not that Roger Smith would have welcomed Elvis anyway, as the King and the then-single Ann-Margret had a major thing going during the filming of Viva Las Vegas. Namath, at the time one of the best-known and recognizable people in America, got the call.

After their not-so-cute first meeting (Namath steps in to stop two of his motorcycle buddies from raping Ann-Margret when her limo breaks down in the desert), he quits the gang to court her. They hit a dance club, and to compare Namath with a quarterback contemporary, his dance moves are strictly Johnny Unitas – he stays in the pocket and doesn’t move around much. Ann-Margret, on the other hand, only seems to dance at one speed, a hair-whipping frenzy. Afterwards we cut to the two of them rolling around in a dark room, where it’s safe to say that Namath isn’t wearing his knee brace. Happy to be a Giants fan in 1970, with boring Fran Tarkenton at quarterback.

That’s followed by the “falling in love” montage as they feed ducks and ride a pedal boat as “Today: The Love Theme from C.C. and Company” (according to the credits) and sung by Miss Margret provides a suitable soundtrack. (I’m reasonably sure this isn’t the song Desi Jr. wrote for her). The rest of the movie includes several scenes of the motorcycle gang – in the best biker movie tradition – generally behaving like the monkeys in 2001: A Space Odyssey. There’s an endless moto-cross race with lots of riders wiping out and the big bike race/duel to the death at the end, Namath vs. his former gang.

For as many times as I tried to watch C.C. and Company, I probably did myself a favor by going to bed after the sandwich scene.

Hey, look what’s finally on TV! C.C. and Company used to air often on the CBS 11:30 movie on Friday and Saturday night. It would have taken a Herculean effort to stay up until 1 AM, with commercials, to watch the whole thing. Fittingly, TCM aired it recently late on a Saturday night.

 

A history of popular music, as told by 100 one-hit wonders (part 5)

60. Lorne Greene –•– Ringo — (Peaked: December 5, 1964 at #1) 

59. Ian Whitcomb –•– You Turn Me On — (Peaked: July 17, 1965 at #8)               

If a rising tide lifts all boats, then the British Invasion helped these two songs. "Ringo" had nothing to do with, you know, the real Ringo. It was a spoken-word tale of a gunslinger with Lorne Greene at his most sonorous. "You Turn Me On" was good enough to stand on its own merits, a boogie-woogie workout with Brit Ian Whitcomb singing in a breathless, feminine falsetto, fueling playground accusations that he was gay. 

58. The Hollywood Argyles –•– Alley Oop — (Peaked: July 11, 1960 at #1)           

Hollywood record producer Gary Paxton was The Hollywood Argyles. Fast forward several decades from this record and Paxton, then producing gospel music records, became People magazine fodder when he was accused of having an affair with Tammy Faye Bakker, although he insisted they were just friends, and not in the biblical sense. 

57. Paul Mauriat and His Orchestra –•– Love Is Blue — (Peaked: February 10, 1968 at # 1) 

Stuffy instrumental you could only wait out when it played on the radio, but at #1 for five weeks, it was a long wait. Neil Young said he was fooling around trying to play this on his guitar when he stumbled onto the chords for “Heart of Gold.” 

56. Kyu Sakamoto –•– Sukiyaki — (Peaked: June 15, 1963 at # 1)        

55. The Singing Nun –•– Dominique — (Peaked: December 7, 1963 at # 1)                      

Six months separate two of the strangest records to ever reach #1. The Japanese lyrics of "Sukiyaki" are vaguely about dejection over a lost love but were actually written in frustration following a failed student demonstration against the continued post-World War II American military presence in Japan. The title, which has nothing to do with the song, was chosen because it was a term recognizably Japanese and familiar to most Americans – almost like retitling “Dominque” with its French lyrics, “Croissant.” "Dominique" existed in the strange twilight that hung over America between the Kennedy assassination and Beatlemania – the Singing Nun appeared on Ed Sullivan in January 1964, one month before the Beatles. Citing financial difficulties, she and a female friend committed suicide together in 1985. 

54. The Trade Winds –•– New York’s A Lonely Town — (Peaked: March 6, 1965 at # 32)

California dreaming on such a winter's day. In an episode of Mad Men, Don Draper and Harry go to a concert to sign the Rolling Stones to cut a commercial jingle for Heinz Ketchup – not such a reach as the Stones in their early days did ads for Kellogg’s in the UK. Backstage, Harry somehow gets confused and winds up signing opening act the Trade Winds instead. 

53. Iron Butterfly –•– In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida — (Peaked: October 26, 1968 at # 30)            

There was plenty of fat to be trimmed from the original 17-minute version of "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" to make this AM-friendly version, although when I hear the edited single, my mind starts to replay the deleted drum solo, like when you have a tooth removed and you keep probing around, looking for it with your tongue. 

52. Rosie and the Originals –•– Angel Baby — (Peaked: January 23, 1961 at # 5)            

Rosie was 14 when she wrote "Angel Baby" for her boyfriend. The group was offered a recording contract – cue the “Jaws” theme – under the condition that the record label take possession of the master recording and that the oldest Original, not Rosie, be listed as the writer. Ineligible to collect royalties because she wasn’t credited as the writer, decades of litigation followed. John Lennon was an admirer of the amateurish charm of this record, recording a version in the 70s. 

51. Mickey & Sylvia –•– Love Is Strange — (Peaked: March 2, 1957 at # 11)    

50. Shirley & Company –•– Shame, Shame, Shame — (Peaked: March 29, 1975 at # 12)

Sylvia Robinson earned her spot on the Mount Rushmore of one-hit wonders. As half of Mickey & Sylvia, their "Love Is Strange" went to #11 – what is strange is why this song never charted higher, given how well known it is and how often it gets used on soundtracks. Eight years later, Robinson wrote the irresistible disco hit "Shame, Shame, Shame" – John Lennon was an admirer, one of the few rock stars to admit to liking some disco music. Recording as Sylvia in 1973, she was a one-hit wonder with the embarrassing top ten hit “Pillow Talk,” before founding the hip hop label Sugar Hill, home of yet another one-hit wonder, the Sugar Hill Gang’s “Rapper’s Delight” in 1979.