Christmas Number One 

The British have this peculiar tradition of coronating whatever song is at the top of the charts on Christmas as that year’s “Christmas Number One.” People used to flock to the record shops to buy it (now done online) and the anticipation was enough that bookmakers began taking bets on which song would make the top of charts Christmas day.         

Nobody would ever describe any glam band, all of whom worked very hard at looking and sounding over-the-top, as shy and unassuming, so it's no surprise that in 1973 Slade and Wizzard deliberately released holiday songs in an effort to reach the top of the charts at Christmas. Slade won. 

Wikipedia says that more recently, the Christmas Number One has been mostly holiday novelties or songs recorded by reality TV personalities in a bid to stretch their minute of fame into two. Even without hearing any of this, it just seems like the dregs of the eggnog. 

Of course, here in the U.S. we’re much too sophisticated to give any time to anything so cheap and exploitive but just for the heck of it, here are the number one singles on the U.S. Billboard charts each Christmas morning for ten years starting in 1964: 

1964: I Feel Fine – Beatles

1965: Over and Over – Dave Clark Five

1966: I’m a Believer – Monkees

1967: Hello, Goodbye – Beatles

1968: I Heard It Through the Grapevine – Marvin Gaye

1969: Someday We’ll Be Together – Supremes

1970: Tears of A Clown – Smokey Robinson & Miracles

1971: Brand New Key – Melanie

1972: Me and Mrs. Jones – Billy Paul

1973: Time In A Bottle – Jim Croce 

Not a bad group of songs overall, although it takes a downturn, predictably, after 1970. “Over and Over” had perfect timing, hitting the number one spot for just this week in 1965 by bumping the Byrds’ “Turn! Turn! Turn!” to #2. The following week, “The Sounds of Silence” would be on top. 

With a week to go until Christmas 2023, Billboard lists Brenda Lee’s “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree,” recorded 65 years ago, as #1 on its U.S. Hot 100 and streaming charts. Thanks to streaming, social media or getting licensed for television, older songs get a major bump in the charts nowadays (see “Running Up That Hill” earlier this year). Brenda Lee made a video of the song with a couple of popular country singers, then took it to TikTok, where it picked up 15 million views. 

It’s how to make a number one single in the new old-fashioned way.

Act Naturally

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce may not be the first entertainment/pro football power couple, but they’re certainly the most boring.

In 1963, Detroit Lions defensive back Dick “Night Train” Lane married jazz singer Dinah Washington, his second marriage, her sixth. Less than six months later, Lane discovered Washington dead at their home from an apparent overdose of prescription pills.

Dallas Cowboys receiver Lance Rentzel married Joey Heatherton, a storybook wedding we were told, in 1969. Two years later he was charged with indecent exposure in the presence of an underage girl and Heatherton filed for divorce.

Atlanta Falcons receiver Andre Rison had a rocky relationship with R&B singer Lisa Lopes, complete with several domestic violence allegations. In 1994, she angrily lit a pair of his shoes on fire, and in the process burned down his house.

And what about Oakland Raider defensive lineman John Matuszak and Debra Winger?

No, that never actually happened and I’m guessing that they never even met, but Matuszak was sure enthusiastic about her.

I interviewed Matuszak in 1981 when he was promoting Caveman, a film in which he co-starred with Ringo Starr and Barbara Bach. Not only was he the largest person I’ve ever met at 6’8”, 285 – when he answered the door of his hotel suite in New York City, he just filled the entire doorway – but also someone with a single degree of separation from a Beatle.

The interview went well, even if some of his answers were canned, like quoting the lyrics to the Beatles’ Act Naturally (a Ringo-sung Buck Owens cover), about being the biggest fool that ever hit the big time and all he had to do was act naturally.

He did, however, seem genuinely pleased when I brought up this pivotal scene from his first movie, the cartoonish football film North Dallas Forty (1979) and he was more than willing to talk about its inspiration (directing his anger at a former coach of his, Hall of Famer Sid Gillman).

I really don’t remember how it came up, but it was his turn to ask a question: Had I seen Urban Cowboy yet? He saw it the night before and apparently his head was still swimming with visions of Debra Winger in this scene:

Possibly overstepping my role as interviewer, I suggested that since they were both in the movie business, he might meet her someday. He grunted something that seemed to say, yeah, I don’t think our paths are ever gonna cross, and I knew the interview was over.

Different paths? Matuszak’s next films were The Ice Pirates and The Goonies. Winger went on to be nominated three times for the Best Actress Academy Award.

Matuszak’s path also included an ex-wife trying to run him over with her car, and an accidental overdose after mixing multiple beers with Valium during which his heart stopped. He died in Hollywood in 1989 at age 38 from what was later ruled as a heart attack brought on by drugs and alcohol.