Intrigued by the cover art 59 years ago, I bought a paperback copy of The Day New York Went Dry at a second-hand bookstore. Over the year it was moved from carton to carton with other paperbacks and, for some reason, I had not read it until now. It’s a good thing I didn’t attempt to read it at age 13 because I wouldn’t have lasted past the first few pages.
But the story revolves around several bureaucrats and
politicians who are trying to solve the problem, none of whom are very appealing
or sympathetic, speaking in self-aware shorthand, quoting lines from The
Rime of the Ancient Mariner in casual conversation.
The book is just 160 pages, and one gets the impression
that the author was researching a comprehensive piece about the New York City
water supply infrastructure, something that would have been at home in The
New Yorker and, looking over his notes, decided to turn it into a novel.
Satire? There’s a senator from Alabama who suggests that
black professionals migrate from New York City to Africa (less people to
consume water), the notion of the disenfranchised turning on all their taps and
running water as an act of civil disobedience and a professor who cites in
mind-numbing detail why water shouldn’t be served with meals.
Along the way there’s also a fair amount of padding, including
(for three unforgivable pages) blackjack strategies.
It isn’t until the final chapters that The Day New
York Went Dry starts to feel like science fiction. An apocalyptic gloom
settles on New York City as rationing takes over, travel drops off the charts,
a plan is drafted to move schoolchildren out of the city and the Pennsylvania
National Guard is mobilized to protect that state’s waterways.
Author Charles Einstein was a San Francisco sportswriter,
serving for many years as editor of The Fireside Book of Baseball, a
ubiquitous compendium found in nearly every library in America. He wrote a
couple of books about Willie Mays, dabbled in fiction and wrote How to Win
at Blackjack: The Einstein System.
His father was Harry Einstein, the radio comedian known
as Parkyakarkus, remembered today mostly for his very public death in 1958, suffering
a fatal heart attack on the dais during a Friar’s Club roast of Lucille Ball
and Desi Arnaz.
After Einstein delivered his monologue, he returned to
his seat, ad-libbed a joke then slumped down. Everyone laughed when Milton
Berle, who was seated next to Einstein, called out, "Is there a doctor in
the house?" Einstein never regained consciousness.
Comedians Albert Brooks (yeah, he named his son Albert
Einstein) and Super Dave Osborne were Charles Einstein’s half-brothers.
Einstein died in 2007.
